It Wasn't Me
by Kaychan87
Summary: After visiting Dearka in his cell, Miriallia runs out and breaks down again, feeling both sorrow and relief. Dearka, on the other hand, realizes that he wants to be the one to comfort Miriallia in her time of need.


**It Wasn't Me**

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam SEED. This fic was inspired largely by _Phase 33: Gathering Darkness_.

* * *

"What's the matter? Might as well get to it if you came to kill me."

Her heart pounded in her chest so hard she thought it would burst through her skin. She was nervous, scared, excited, and worried as she stood outside his cell. It was hard to believe that he was the same person she and Fllay had tried to kill. In the darkened cell, he looked helpless with his head bandaged from the attack on him. And yet, he thought she was back to take his life; he had even encouraged her to do so. Her blue eyes shimmered with tears that refused to fall. She had cried so much since Tolle and Kira were declared M.I.A. by the military.

"I won't…" she whispered before she turned away from the blond haired captive. Before he could say another word to her, she was running away. She could not remain in his presence any longer than she had. She wasn't that brave, not yet.

_"Why'd you do that? Why'd you stop me? You were trying to kill him yourself! Don't you despise him too! Don't you despise the Coordinators that killed Tolle!"_ Fllay's words echoed in her mind as she ran. While the younger girl was not entirely correct, she was not entirely wrong either. A small part of her did despise the blond haired Coordinator. Every time she was in his presence, he was saying something foolish and arrogant to provoke her.

Slowing to a walk, the brown haired soldier headed absently down the corridor leading away from the prisoner. She kept her gaze down as though she were ashamed of her actions. In a way, she was. She had tried to kill a man in cold blood. She had not cared at all when she had attempted to take his life. In the state she was in she had felt justified. His words had provoked her even if they had rung true.

"_I'm kind of surprised a ship like this has such a crybaby on board. You have no business being a soldier if you're that afraid. Or maybe your good for nothing Natural boyfriend went and died on you all of a sudden."_

Stopping suddenly, she sank down to the floor of the ship and held her head in her hands. He was right; she had no business being a soldier. She had wanted to help out but not at the cost of losing the one person she cared about the most in the world. On top of losing her boyfriend, one of her dearest friends was also gone. "Tolle… Kira…" She could no longer hold her emotions back. In the middle of a corridor, Miriallia Haww let herself break down once more. She did not care who saw or heard her. Her encounter with the young Coordinator had left her completely vulnerable and yet, relieved. She missed Tolle more than ever but knowing that the blond wasn't the one responsible eased her pain, even if it was just a little.

* * *

"What's the matter? Might as well get to it if you came to kill me."

"I won't…"

He sat up again, wanting to stop her from leaving once more. However, he was too late. She was already gone. Her presence had been a shock to him. He had been lying in his cell, thinking of her mere moments before she even appeared. He had been thinking of what she had said over and over.

_"Tolle's gone and he's never coming back and yet this creep... What is this scumbag doing here!"_

He didn't know why seeing the distraught expression on the Natural woman's face had shaken him the way it had. Maybe it was the fact that he had been so callous about her loss or maybe it was the fact that she held the same anger in her reaction that Yzak had to Nicol's death or maybe it was the simple fact that someone close to him had been killed at the same time.

"She really shouldn't be a soldier," he said to himself with a sigh. Already she had struck him as the type of person that was too kind hearted to be a true soldier. The young woman did not fit Dearka's concept of a soldier at all. A soldier was someone who left his emotions behind when in battle and didn't hesitate to kill the enemy. Even Nicol had fit that better than the teary eyed girl who had just been talking to him.

Dearka let himself fall backwards until he was lying with his hands under his head. All he could do was frown and let out a frustrated sigh. He was slightly disgusted with himself for caring so much about how some Natural soldier was feeling and one that was his captor no less! "Damn it, am I getting soft? Yeah, she's cute considering she's a Natural…" Turning over onto his side, he hit the wall angrily. He was Dearka Elthman, part of the ZAFT elite forces. He was one of the best soldiers in the army and had fought under men such as Rau Le Creuset and Andrew Waltfeld in his short military career. And there he was, forgetting all that he was fighting for because of a girl's tears. He knew if his comrades could see him, they would be more than disgusted.

He closed his eyes and rolled back onto his back, scoffing softly. Wondering what his friends would say had made him realize that he didn't care. He was a P.O.W.; it wasn't as though they'd really find out about the girl anyway. '_I have better chances of being killed by those bastard Naturals than getting back to the PLANTs anyway,_' he thought, feeling just a tiny hint of fear and a lot of disappointment. True he had known the risks involved with being a soldier but he never thought he'd die on Earth. He had hoped that if he did get killed it would be in space, where he had been born and raised in the PLANTs.

"Man, this really sucks," he muttered. Feeling helpless was something he despised. Being looked in a cell on the legged ship at the Earth Forces' Alaskan headquarters equated a complete death sentence to him. Being only seventeen, there was still so much he wanted to die before he died. "Guess that's what I get for being a soldier," he added, opening his eyes and staring up at the ceiling of his cell. Briefly, he pictured the brunette girl's face and a small smile formed on his face. "Well, at least she won't completely hate me." Closing his eyes again, he thought about the conversation the two of them had just had about her boyfriend.

_"Well… So where was your boyfriend when he…?"  
_  
"_He was in the Skygrasper… at the island… when you guys made that last attack on us." _Dearka couldn't help but feel for her after that; she sounded so sad, so heart broken…

"_It wasn't me."_ He didn't know if he had been imagining things but the blond haired teen could have sworn that he had seen a very brief look of relief on her face when he had uttered those three words to her.

"At least… I'll have her around to keep me company until I'm taken off this ship," he said, his smile growing slightly. He didn't know why but the girl was almost like a beacon of hope to him. He felt something in him wanting to near her again and he knew that there was something that drew her to him. '_I'm really glad it wasn't me who took down her boyfriend,_' he thought, hoping that that fact would keep the girl coming back to see him.

"It wasn't me who made her so sad…" he murmured, "…but I want to be the one to take away that sadness." It was then that he realized that he was starting to care for the girl; a girl who was supposed to be his enemy. He didn't know why or how; he just knew it felt right. He promised himself that he would not say anything else to upset her. He didn't care that she was a Natural or that he was a Coordinator. She was someone he felt like he had to protect, someone he wanted to protect. It was a feeling that gave him peace of mind and a sense of purpose.

Turning onto his side again, he settled into a more comfortable position, still exhausted from all that had happened. His last thoughts as he drifted off into sleep was something that made him feel immensely better…

'_It wasn't me…_'


End file.
